


Sasha Wire and The Greater Good

by verboseDescription



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Characters are probably slightly less capable then canon, Potential Planet Destruction, Sasha realizes that Dark Matters is kind of filled with dicks, also there's juno/peter but thats more an obvious fact of life then a ship tag, some talk about her relationship with juno and i mean that platonic stylz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-17 21:38:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10602774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/verboseDescription/pseuds/verboseDescription
Summary: Sasha realizes that her organization's motto should have been more of a warning sign. Juno very desperately wants to tell her "I told you so"Also, they save a planet.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So!! Because Peter Nuryev is just kind of the person who never gives his name, he's referred to as Basil for most of this fic. If you heard that and immediately thought of the great mouse detective, both me & my partner thought the same thing. I still did it tho  
> Also, in case it wasn't clear, this takes place 15 years in the future.

_“Mick? It’s Sasha. I’m back on Mars, and thought I might as well leave you a message. I don’t know if I’ll have time to stop by, I just have so much to do but—but I’ll try and find time. I hope you’re doing well, Mick. And I’m sorry it’s been so long. I’ve been a bit… preoccupied.”_

Sasha stands in front of Juno’s office and takes a deep breath. He was never going to let her forget it if she asked for help, but she was running out of options. And she knew she could trust him. That was the most important part.

So, she steps inside.

 

As soon as Juno sees her, he falls silent, staring at her as he no doubt monologues internally about the unlikelihood of seeing her again and with so little warning. Finally, he speaks.

“Sasha,” Juno says. “What the hell?”

“It’s nice to see you again too, Juno,” Sasha replies smoothly. “I’m afraid I’m going to ask you for a favor.”

“A favor,” Juno repeats. “And what could be so important that you can’t ask one of your Dark Matters friends for help? Or even, I don’t know, _call ahead?”_

“I can’t talk to Dark Matters about this because _they’re_ the problem,” Sasha explains. “And I’m sorry. I should have called. I was just. Preoccupied.”

“What, you can call Mick, but not me?” Juno says. He must sense her surprise because he adds, “Mick told me you called him yesterday. You sounded worried. Like you were about to do something stupid.”

“I am. I was,” Sasha replies. “I’m talking to you, aren’t I?”

“Okay, ow. But that doesn’t explain the call.”

“I always call Mick when I’m about to go to Mars,” Sasha says. “It’s just part of my routine at this point. I just had too much on my mind to consider there might be someone else I should call too.”

Juno considers this for a moment, then sits down next to her.

“Okay,” he says. “What’d your asshole spy corporation do this time?”

Sasha sighs. Rita lowers the volume on the TV and leans in.

“We found something,” Sasha begins. “Dark Matters had tasked me and several others to look into a relatively unknown planet to see if it could be of use to us. And well, it could. There’s plenty of rare materials there, as well as ancient technology that we couldn’t even _begin_ to understand and Dark Matters wants it all.”

“Sounds like fun,” Juno says. “So what’s the problem?”

“The technology on this planet is very much tied to the planet itself. Even the most unrelated of objects could cause planetary earthquakes. If someone was to take certain devices, especially the ones Dark Matters is looking into...”

“Then what, the entire planet explodes?” Juno asks. Sasha says nothing. “Fuck. Dark Matters is going to make one hell of an exit, I’ll give them that.”

“I don’t suppose there’s any hope in you changing their minds?” Juno’s husband speaks up. Sasha had forgotten he was in the room. She had also forgotten his name, but whatever it was, it wasn’t Rex Glass, she knew that.

“Officially, Dark Matters has already reached its decision,” Sasha replies.

“But that’s—that’s awful!” Rita cries out. “How can you just ignore all those people tryin’ to live their lives?”

“Haven’t you heard the Dark Matters motto, Rita?” Juno lets out a bitter laugh. “Everything they do is for the ‘greater good.’ They don’t care about _people—_ they just care about justifying their causality rate.”

“I should have expected this,” Sasha says. “I should have realized something like this would have happened.”

“Aw, c’mon now, Agent, there’s no reason for you to blame yourself,” Rita reassures her.

“I have every reason to blame myself,” Sasha replies. And she did.

She had let herself be swept up in the promise of freedom, of leaving mars, of being someone who would _matter,_ someone who people would turn to when they needed help with their own mistakes.

But all she was was a scared little girl, desperate to prove that after all this time she could still do _something_ right.

“So,” Glass says. “What are we going to do about it?”

“I know exactly what they’re planning on doing and where they’re going to take it,” Sasha replies, grateful for the chance to stick to business and avoid her emotions. “The problem is, I can’t stop them on my own.”

“Please don’t tell me you want us to help you fight off your entire secret agency to save a planet,” Juno groans.

“Alright, I won’t say it.”

“Sash, c’mon, I’m a PI, not a-a-a space explorer! Don’t you have any other contacts?”

“All of my contacts are Dark Matters contacts,” Sasha tells him. “You know how much I hate making friends.”

“Mistah Steel, we got to go!” Rita insists. “I know you ain’t much for travelin’, especially off planet, but think of all those poor people we’d be helping! We gotta go, Mistah Steel, we gotta!”

“Rita, we don’t know anything about this case yet,” Juno argues. “I’m not saying that because I don’t want to leave Mars—I’m _not!_ Getting mixed up with Dark Matters is a great way to get recruited or killed. And I’m pretty happy with the job I have.”

“I’ll tell you anything you want to know,” Sasha says. “But I won’t beg, Juno. I would… appreciate your help, but if you won’t come, I’m sure I’ll manage something. I always do.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Juno tells her. “So tell me about this planet of yours.”

“The planet is called Seginus,” Sasha says. “It has few exports and even fewer tourists. The fact that Dark Matters was looking into it at all is pure chance. Seginuans seemed to be getting into some fights with people from a neighboring planet, and so we sent an agent over to see what the fighting was about.”

“And that’s when you found all the tech?”

“Yes. The agent stated in their report that Seginus seemed fully equipped to handle all of its planets mysteries, but Dark Matters disagrees. The neighboring planet, Izar, is allegedly after all of the Seginuan weapons and technology it can find, so naturally, Dark Matters wants to confiscate it all before it leads to any unfortunate consequences. The agent brought back some kind of blaster to show our science team, and found that a hurricane had been reported in the area he had taken it just after he left the atmosphere. After a few tests, it was confirmed that everything the ancient Seginuans made had at least some kind of effect on the planet, and that it was certain that if we removed anything from the planet’s atmosphere, it would have disastrous consequences on the planet ecosystem.”

“And I suppose Dark Matters decided to ignore the fact that they were dooming a planet because, _oh,_ just _think_ of all the people they could help with their new findings!” Glass ends. He looks angry in a way that suggests he’s going to make it personal. What a joy. Feelings.

“That’s essentially it, yes,” Sasha says with a nod. “I can pay to take us all off planet, and for whatever we need. But I can’t pull something like this off on my own. And one way or another, I need to _do_ _something_ about it.”

That had always been the biggest difference between her and Juno. When things went wrong, he blamed himself. Sasha was focused more on results.

Something bad is going on. Okay. She didn’t do the best she could have. Okay, that didn’t matter. She wasn’t important. What was important was what she was going to do. What was important was her Plan. As long as she had that, it didn’t matter what she felt or what happened to her.

All that mattered was that things were _okay._

“Well Juno,” Glass says. “What should we do?”

 

The only reason he’s going to help her, Juno says, is so he can rub it in her face later. Sasha tells him she expected as much. She’s introduced officially to Glass, who calls himself “Basil.” She knows about him, of course, but she hasn’t met this particular pseudonym in person. Basil claims to be an immigrant from the Andromeda system who just happened to meet Juno on a trip to Mars. Sasha doesn’t believe a word of it—she already knows how they met, for one thing—but she assumes whatever documents he’s forged are at least real enough to keep him from being tossed off Mars, which is really all that matters.

The time it takes them to make plans is about half an hour longer than Sasha would have liked. Juno spends much of it bickering with Rita, telling her she didn’t have to go, and that someone needed to look after their cat, but by the next day the four of them were on the next ship out of Mars and Juno was moaning softly at the mere thought of his feet not being able to touch the ground.

Sasha wishes he would be quiet, but berating him isn’t going to help and she doesn’t know what to say to comfort him. That’s generally how her relationship with him goes, only occasionally she exercises less tact. That’s how most of her relationships go, honestly. Sasha is horrible at being likable.

Rita and Basil seem to be having no such problems. Rita’s chatting with every stranger she can find, clearly bubbling with excitement, while Basil manages to rope Juno into talking with another couple who promise him that flying isn’t a big deal, not really, and they understand his worries, they really do, but once he gets in the air everything will be fine.

Juno responds to this by making a face Sasha interprets as, _“Yeah, ‘fine.’ Not like we’re about to sabotage the greatest secret agency the galaxy has to offer!”_ but offers them a strangled “Thanks.”

Sasha sits by herself and says nothing. She’s always been a woman of few words, and there’s nothing she can say to add to anyone’s conversation so she doesn’t. Instead, she thinks about The Plan.

Once they managed to get to Seginus, it’d be easy to slip onto one of Dark Matters’ ships. Nothing was scheduled for transport until they could figure out how to fix the electrical problem they were having—her doing, of course—which would give them a couple days, something they’d definitely need. She could send the ships back time and time again, but that wouldn’t change the fact that nothing would change unless she got _creative._

Creativity had always been her weakness. She was good at plans, _sure,_ but if you wanted something no one would see coming, you’d ask Juno, not her.

Sasha’s a smart woman. She knows how Dark Matters thinks. She knows how everyone thinks. She knows that in order to stop Dark Matters from harming Seginus, she needs to make it seem like a waste of resources. But she doesn’t know _how._

There’s no use mulling on questions she can’t find the answer to.

That doesn’t stop her from doing just that.

 

Juno wakes up with his head resting on Peter’s neck. He blinks out the sleep from his eyes and, remembering where he was, immediately grabs Peter’s arm.

“Good morning, beautiful,” says Peter Nureyev, giving his wife a soft smile. “Unfortunately, we still have about half an hour before we land.”

Juno groans. Peter pats his arm affectionately.

Juno doesn’t know why he agreed to this. _Well_ , okay, yeah he _does._

When an old friend like Sasha wants something, Juno generally does his best to try and get it, even when it’s bound to blow up in his face, which was almost definitely about to happen now.

Sasha had seemed confident that everything would go according to plan, but Sasha always tried to look like she knew what she was doing.

It was almost funny. Sasha was always on his case about bad coping mechanisms, but what about her? Sure, Juno wasn’t the greatest at handling, well, anything, but in all his years he never met anyone that could compartmentalize like Sasha Wire. He didn’t know how she did it, but he had known Sasha long enough to know that anytime she felt an emotion that didn’t seem “useful” she filed it away in a lockbox in hell and didn’t look back. He wasn’t going to lie—he hated how knowing that made him feel. Like if he tried just a _little_ harder he’d stop feeling so _damn shitty_ all the time.

But then again, Juno didn’t think feeling nothing felt much better then feeling sad.

And he knew Sasha probably hated that he felt that way.

He and Sasha had a weird kind of friendship, but they were older now, and hopefully at least a tiny bit wiser. Maybe now, they’d manage to go an hour without getting on each other’s nerves, or actually finally have a talk about the fact that did just that.

But maybe that was hoping for too much.

 

Peter nudges Juno out of his thoughts to tell him that they were about to land.

“See?” he says. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“Oh yeah,” Juno snorts. “Next thing you know, we’ll be traveling the universe together.”

It was an old joke they had, but apparently not too old. Peter laughs.

“We’re going to have to rent a car from here,” Sasha says, standing up and grabbing her bag. “They don’t like doing too much out in the open, so what we’re looking for should be somewhere very remote.”

“I call driving,” Juno says immediately.

“You don’t even know where we’re going.”

“So? That’s what a GPS is for.”

Sasha says nothing, probably rolling her eyes at him—not like he can really tell with her sunglasses on—but doesn’t argue. Juno assumes they’re probably going to have the actual argument once they actually find the car Sasha’s probably rented in advance.

An important thing to know about Juno is that he really _hates_ it when he can’t do anything. He hates it on stake outs because he hates sitting still and he hates it between cases when he has nothing to _do._ Sitting in a car with Sasha and not knowing what he was getting into was definitely more of that.

Juno’s dislike of sitting still was also why he was fairly certain he was never going to willingly leave Mars again. Juno hates spaceports _so much._ Honestly, it was a miracle he even fell asleep with how much he was shaking his leg.

Anyways, Sasha shows them the car and Juno tells her it’s got a horrible paint job and tries to swipe the keys. One thing leads to another and suddenly it’s Rita who’s driving, babbling about how excitin’ the planet is and how cool everything looks while Sasha offers her the occasional direction and Juno fumes in the backseat.

He doesn’t know why Sasha asked for his help. He can already tell he’s getting on her nerves.

But hey, it’s not as if she’s been so great for his either.

 

Sasha won’t lie—Juno’s annoying. But he’s been a permanent headache in her life ever since they were kids—though admittedly, she didn’t really mind it then—and at this point she feels almost nostalgic about it. Not that she’s about to say anything like that to him. Or Rita, who she’s starting to grow fond of. It’s nice to see someone so genuinely excited about everything, even when under such unfortunate circumstances.

“You know what these colors are reminding me of?” Rita says. “That one special. Y’know, with all the tones and all that?”

“I can’t say I do. Turn right.”

“Well, first off, it’s all noncanonical, so a whole buncha fans didn’t even wanna watch it, but I think it’s real sweet. It’s told in a, what ch’ call it, a dream format. So, you’re never sure if it’s really real or not, you know? Anyways, Bobby—that’s the main character—finds out he’s been stranded on a whole new planet and he doesn’t know how he got there! And he makes a big deal about it, cause the grass is blue—just like here, see!—so anyways, he _knows_ he’s got to be far from home ‘cause he took a class or something and he _knows_ grass don’t grow like that in his part of the galaxy. OH! Do you think they filmed it here? Cause that would be just the _coolest_.”

“Turn left.”

“There’s quite a few places with grass this color, or a similar one,” Basil says. “It could have been filmed on any number of those planets. Or it could have been fake, or simply been edited to look blue.”

“Awww,” Rita visibly deflates a little. “Would have been real cool to go to a planet from a famous movie.”

“Rita, Mars has like, hundreds of people filming every day,” Juno points out. Rita sighs. Clearly, she doesn’t think it’s the same.

“Have you been to another planet like this one, Basil?” Sasha asks. She tries to make her question sound benign, but Juno still responds with a loud groan.

“Come on, Sasha,” Juno says. “That’s not even the _least_ bit subtle. I know what you’re thinking—he looks _just like_ that agent you sent to Mars about the mask! We _both_ know that! You can just ask! I mean, what do you think I’m gonna say?”

Sasha sighs.

“Juno,” she says. “Are you married to a thief powerful enough to sneak into an organization that screens all of its members more than any other place in the galaxy just to take what appeared, at the time, to be a relatively harmless mask?”

“Oh, hell yes,” Juno says. “Why, think he might be able to help?”

“For the record,” Basil chimes in. “I do think my particular skill set could be helpful here. I just didn’t mention it because well… It’s not exactly Basil Steel’s skill set.”

“You don’t think you can trust me with your identity? That’s perfectly understandable. You hardly know me.”

“That’s not entirely what I mean, Agent. Of course, regardless of who you are, I’m not about to tell you my real name—I’m no fool, after all. But I have created many names for myself over the years, and I like to stay in character.”

“That sounds…,” Sasha tries to think of a way to phrase it. Annoying. Unproductive. Something to tell his therapist about. “Complicated.”

“It can be, yes,” Basil agrees. “I won’t argue with that. But I have been doing this for quite some time and find it to be much easier to place personalities with names.”

“That sounds unhealthy.”

“Everyone in this damn car is unhealthy, Sash. No offense, Rita.”

“None taken, Mistah Steel.”

“If it means anything to you, Basil. I have no reason to report you to Dark Matters,” Sasha says. Juno snorts. “Especially now, of course. I don’t know why you did what you did then, but it hardly matters now, and not to me.”

“Hey, Agent Wire?” Rita asks. “What are you gonna do after this whole mess clears up? I mean, you can’t really go back to Dark Matters, can you?”

Sasha pauses. Normally, she tried to be at least three steps ahead of whatever situation she’s pushed into. But now?

“I don’t know.”

 

They hide the car behind some trees that look to be about the same color. In front of them is a small ship and a slightly ominous looking cave.

Now that Sasha’s finally started speaking to Basil, it should be easier for her to make a plan that involves everyone. Basil mentions idly that this—trying to save a planet from a corrupt agency, that is—is the kind of thing he would have probably done on his free time, had Sasha not asked him to, which makes her suspicious but grateful. So he had a history of activism. How useful, and potentially very annoying.

Sasha still didn’t know much about Basil Steel. For all she knew, he was wanted throughout the galaxy for some radical act of defiance he had made at 15. And Juno—

\--Actually, she trusted Juno’s judgement fairly well, even when it came to people he might be biased towards. Juno had a tendency to fall in love very quickly, which did tend to lead to some bad decisions, but he generally came to his senses after a day or so. Sasha really couldn’t cite that as a reason to be suspicious of Basil—anyone can seem alluring when you know them for a day, but being likable for fifteen years? And being considered likable to _Juno?_ That was _much_ harder.

There was no reason not trust Basil for now. But that didn’t mean she didn’t think he wasn’t dangerous.

Of course, that could be just some misplaced guilt about missing one of her only friend’s wedding talking, but she didn’t need to think about that now, or hopefully ever.

“So, Sasha,” Juno says. “What’s the plan?”

“The plan,” Sasha says. “Right, of course.”

“Ah,” Basil nods. “You don’t have one.”

“I _do,”_ Sasha insists.

“She doesn’t,” Juno replies. “She knows how to stall them, sure, but if Sasha had a plan, she would have mentioned it by now. Hell, she would have probably made us all memorize it in the ride over. You were probably trying to figure something out the whole way here, am I right?”

“Unfortunately, yes,” Sasha admits. “I know I can come up with a better one soon, but for now my plan is much less solid then I would have hoped. I know that in order to succeed, we’ll have to convince Dark Matters that this planet isn’t worth the risk. However, Dark Matters doesn’t care about any of the agents they’ve sent to collect the artifacts—or at the very least, the more important ones—and they have more than enough money not to care about a few lost transport ships. The only thing I can think of currently is to scare them into leaving—I’m sure you know, but Dark Matters does take curses very seriously.”

“So our best bet would be to save this planet is to become the monsters from the stories they tell their children, hmm?” Basil says with a laugh. Sasha’s not sure if he’s making fun or her, or if he just enjoys the thought. “Well that should be no problem.”

“Yeah, looks like your skills are needed,” Juno jokes. “Didn’t think it was going to be your acting skills, though.”

“Well, I don’t know about that, but I can drive to the nearest town and find out what the people there have to say about all this,” Rita suggests.

“Couldn’t hurt,” Juno agrees. “Sash, get Rita a map. And a list of some of the more dangerous stuff Dark Matters is after. If we can only convince them not to bring certain shit out, better make sure it’s something that counts.”

“Alright,” Sasha says. “But this is a bad plan. We can’t bank solely on the fact that some of the higher ups are superstitious. It’s foolish.”

“Juno and I can scout out the area,” Basil suggests. “We’re right near one of their ships, aren’t we? We must _very_ close to something they want. I’m sure we could figure something out. All we need is more information.”

“Very well. But be careful.”

“But of course, Agent! Careful is my middle name.”

 

Peter’s glad to be alone with Juno again. Not just because of the overwhelming love he has for his lady, though of course that certainly makes any time spent together time well spent, but because he likes who he is when he’s with Juno.

The problem is that when Peter’s around other people he can’t be, well, Peter.

They had discussed it a while back. What name Peter was going to use as Juno’s husband—as Juno’s _real_ husband, not for a con, not like it had been when he had been Duke Rose. Peter had loved the thought of being Juno to Peter but going by that name so publicly felt so _personal._

The thought of anyone knowing _anything_ about him was enough to make his skin itch. And Juno understood—he wasn’t too fond of giving out personal information either.

Unfortunately, his problem with anyone knowing “anything” about him did occasionally extend to personality as well. Basil Steel couldn’t be the same person as Peter Nureyev, though he could be close. And while it did get tiring, it let him live his life exactly how he wanted it—namely, near Juno, who was currently examining one of the walls of a cave they had entered.

“You think we could convince some Dark Matters big wig that all this writing or whatever is some prophecy that means they’ll die because of their greed or whatever if they take something in here?” Juno asks, half joking.

“No,” Peter says honestly. “I’m sorry, but even Dark Matters doesn’t believe in cursed items that much. Besides, it’s far too likely that they’ve already managed to decode the ancient writing—or some of it, at least.”

“Hm,” Juno says and continues walking. “Pity.”

“You don’t seem too worried,” Peter observes.

“I’m not,” Juno replies. “Rita’s smart. So’s Sasha. The two of them’ll probably have some weird but somehow super possible plan by the time they get back. Rita’ll probably meet a local who tells them that the planet has a protection system that stops outsiders from robbing the place dry.”

“That would be nice to hear. Oh! Wait a second,” Peter grabs Juno’s arm. “I’m fairly certain this hall is boobytrapped. One moment, please.”

With that, Peter reaches into one of his absurdly large pockets and pulls out a small rock. He throws it at the path ahead and it, unsurprisingly, releases several arrows that Juno and Peter both easily dodge.

“So,” Juno says. “Is carrying around rocks just a thing you do now? Or is this just one of those ‘I didn’t know it was there but it sure made itself useful’ kind of things?”

“Well, I put it in my pocket on purpose,” Peter admits. “It seemed like a nice thing to have on hand at the time.”

“Naturally,” Juno agrees. “So, what are we gonna do about this mess?”

He gestures to the hallway in front of them.

“There’s probably a path that’ll get us through unharmed,” Peter muses. “The only problem is finding it.”

“What,” Juno says. “You don’t have any more cool rocks in your pockets to throw?”

“I do, actually, but I would really like to keep them.”

“You think you can manage to translate some of the shit on the wall?”

“I can try, but language isn’t my specialty,” Peter frowns at the writing in front of them. “For all I know, this could have been a reminder for someone to buy groceries.”

“Personally, I think post it notes work better,” Juno replies. “But, hey, who am I to tell aliens what to do?”

 Peter opens his mouth to give a witty retort, but the sound of echoing footsteps cuts him off. He looks at Juno, who clearly has the same thought running through his mind: _what the hell?_

In retrospect, it probably wasn’t a good idea to go cavorting through a cave that could be possibly filled with Dark Matters agents before they got confirmation that there weren’t any Dark Matters agents.

Juno looks behind them, then at the hall in front of them.

“Let me guess,” Peter says. “We’re about to do something incredibly stupid, aren’t we?”

“You could call it that,” Juno agrees.

They run.

Peter grabs Juno’s hand as they run, ready to push him out of harm’s way if his lack of depth perception starts affecting his ability to dodge. Juno’s breathing sounds a bit labored, and Peter can’t help but wonder if Juno brought his inhaler—of _course not,_ this is _Juno—_ but he’s too busy swerving through traps and dodging fireballs to bring it up. Luckily, the traps they set off seem mostly harmless until Juno takes a step and the ground opens up and swallows them whole.

They don’t exactly fall into a bottomless pit—for one thing, there’s a slide.

There’s a lot of things Peter can say about that, but mainly he’s just glad not to have broken a leg. And a bit surprised to be standing next to…. Agent Wire?

 

Sasha didn’t want to go to town—she wasn’t found of interacting with people, but she suspected she’d like disappointing Rita even less—so she pulls up a map and tells the other woman where to go. One thing led to another, and they had found a secret passageway that had led them through a series of interconnected tunnels until they found the cave Juno had walked into, using Rita’s glow-in-the-dark cane to lead the way.

“Okay, wait a minute,” Juno interrupts. “That’s not ‘one thing led to another,’ that’s a whole entire story you’re leaving out!”

“We just talked t’ some real nice Seginuans in a village Agent Wire picked out,” Rita says. “I don’t know why you didn’t bother saying anything to them before you came and got us, Agent Wire, cuz they sure know their planet like nothing else!”

“I did speak to them,” Sasha replies. “Unfortunately, they told me nothing.”

The Seginuans that Rita had talked to had been leagues more helpful than anyone Sasha had met on the planet, something she knew wasn’t just luck. Sasha was good at being in charge and commanding authority. She could make people do what she wanted, so long as they were willing to listen.

But the Seginuans had not been willing to listen. They hadn’t trusted her, and Sasha didn’t blame them. She had nothing to offer them to win them over but her personality, so it proved to be a lost cause. Rita, on the other hand, was cute and funny. It had taken her only a few minutes of babbling for the Seginuans to lower their suspicions and tell the two of them pretty much anything they needed to know.

“Well, that sure’s a pity,” Rita says. “They seem like such likeable folks. I don’t know why they would be so _unhelpful.”_

“Sasha’s generally just kind of an unlikable person,” Juno supplies.

“Really? I think she’s just swell.”

“You don’t have to say that. He’s right. I’ve never made being a ‘fun’ person one of my priorities.”

“Oh, no,” Juno says. “You’re an ass, but you’re plenty of fun. I mean—mysterious planets, boobytrapped caves, secret tunnels?—what more could a lady ask for!”

“Personally, I could go for a coffee,” Sasha replies dryly. “In any case, I’m happy to be the source of such a good mood, but we should head onwards now. We are still on a schedule, after all.”

“Does that mean you have a plan now?” Basil asks. He seems a bit different then when Sasha saw him last, but she can’t place her finger on it, and it’s starting to get less noticeable the more time she spends with him. Something to file away for later.

“I have an idea,” Sasha replies. “But first—did you see anyone before you dropped down here?”

“We didn’t _see_ anyone,” Basil says. “But we did hear something.”

“Think it was Dark Matters?”

“There’s a very strong chance,” Sasha agrees. “And if that is the case, we really should be picking up the pace.”

“We’re already jogging,” Juno whines. “How much faster can we go?”

Sasha wants to tell him he’s being childish, but she opts to roll her eyes and ignore him instead.

“Forgive me if I’m being rude,” Basil asks. “But how can you see with those sunglasses on? I know there is _some_ light, but there’s hardly enough to warrant sunglasses.”

“I happen to have an extreme photosensitivity that makes it very hard for me to go anywhere without sunglasses,” Sasha explains. “It is a bit hard to see now, yes, but I’d rather not risk taking them off.”

“Well, that’s perfectly understandable. I just wouldn’t want you to bump into anything. Especially since, as you said, we are in a hurry.”

Sasha takes a moment to consider if his worry is genuine or if he’s playing nice to get something out of her. She decides to treat it as the former.

“Thank you for your concern,” Sasha says. “But I’ll be fine. I’ve only been doing this my entire life.”

“It really completes your look, ma’am, if you don’t mind me saying,” Rita tells her. “You’ve got a good business look going on, it makes me feel like you know _exactly_ what’s going on—it’s very reassuring.”

“There should be a passage leading back up to the main cave soon,” Sasha says, a bit abruptly. Juno’s wearing a horrible smile on his face, damn him, and she can already hear the stupid quip about her getting flustered. Only he doesn’t say anything about it

Instead, Juno goes, “C’mon Rita, she’s not your boss, you don’t have to be so formal. Call her Sasha. I’m sure it’s fine.”

Rita turns to Sasha, who’s feeling more and more flustered by the second. She hates it. Fuck emotions, and fuck Juno for trying to remind her that she has them.

“It’s perfectly fine,” Sasha finds herself agreeing. “We’re all… friends here, after all.”

“Well Sasha,” Basil says. “I think I found the passage you mentioned. Up ahead, over there.”

Basil points towards the left wall, and Sasha can see another path that looks to her to be a very fancy wheelchair ramp.

“It’s nice to know aliens were so concerned with making things so _accessible,”_ Rita comments. Juno hums in agreement.

“There should be a sliding door at the end of this tunnel,” Sasha says. “We just have to open it, and it will connect to a chamber with a very powerful weapon inside.”

Sasha opts not to describe what exactly the weapon _does._ There’s no need to get anyone worked up, after all.

The door’s there, just as she said it’d be. Rita pushes it a bit so that Sasha can look through and see if the room’s empty.

“Shit,” Sasha whispers.

“Dark Matters?” Juno guesses.

“Yes, but only an agent or two. They seem to be waiting for something—orders, most likely.”

“Okay, so let’s blast them.”

“Would you just wait a _second?_ We don’t want them to alert anyone. We can’t just run into everything without thinking.”

“Yeah, well, thinking’s not my strong suit, as you _love_ to point out.”

“This isn’t an attack on you--,”

“—Bullshit. Of course it is.”

“Juno--,”

“—No, don’t say it,” Juno interrupts, voice rising. Sasha glances over at the Dark Matters agents. They hadn’t noticed anything. Good. “I _know_ I rush in to shit. I _know_ it’s pissing you off. But what I do works! I’ve got my way of doing things, and you’ve got yours. I’m not some kind of _fucking idiot_ just because I don’t analyze everything I do for five fucking hours!”

“Juno,” Sasha says slowly. “I don’t think this is the time.”

“It isn’t,” Juno agrees. “But you know what? I don’t care! I have something to say, and I’m going to fucking say it! I’m sick and tired of every conversation with you ending with one of us yelling our fucking lungs out, because apparently, that’s the only way we can talk!”

“You’re the only one yelling now,” Sasha notes, still looking at the Dark Matters agents. “Juno…”

“I know! I. GET. IT. I’m ruining your plan. Too bad not even the great Sasha Wire can plan around emotions, but I’m _pissed!_ We’ve spent almost the entire day together, and I’ve spent far too much of that wondering which one of us is gonna crack first. I mean, shit, I said I’d come here because we’re _friends_ , but do we even _like each other?”_

 And suddenly, something that hasn’t happened for a very long time happens—Sasha can’t think of what to say.

Of _course_ Juno’s her friend. After all, she—

They had—

But—

They _used to—_

She had—

She had been thinking the same thing, actually.

“I think… I think we were always a bit cruel to each other,” Sasha says. “But. We’re adults. We should be able to have at least one civil conversation a year.”

“Honestly, we probably used to be worse,” Juno replies, a bit quieter. He wipes his eye with his sleeve. “We were a pair of fucking shitty kids.”

Before Sasha can respond, she hears the sound of a blaster firing and quickly slides the door shut.

“Who’s there?” A voice demands. “Show yourself!”

“For the record,” Sasha says. “This is exactly why we don’t yell at childhood friends in ancient caves.”

“But there’s such a great echo,” Juno replies, readying his blaster. “So? What now?”

“Now? We shoot them,” Sasha says. “I open the door, and you open fire. Ready?”

“Always.”

Sasha slides the wall forward as quick as possible and Juno quickly fires a couple rounds. The agents hadn’t figured out where exactly they were, apparently, and were startled enough by Juno’s sudden appearance that only one of them had a chance to fire, and he was no match for Juno’s aim.

“Well,” Juno says, stepping out into the room. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“I don’t like it when I don’t have a plan,” Sasha says. “I don’t like having unknown variables.”

“Sorry for screaming, I guess.”

“No, it’s not you,” Sasha explains. “It’s me. I was the one who put myself in this situation. I was the one who joined Dark Matters, I was the one who agreed to my promotion even though they-they—well, you were there. You know what they did to me…. To us. But I had signed up for that. I thought it didn’t matter. Or, no. I thought I could make it _better._ As if this damn organization wasn’t flawed from the _second_ it was just an idea that appeared in someone’s head. I should have known better. I don’t like making bad decisions.”

“We all make bad decisions, Sash,” Juno says. Sasha frowns.

“But I should have been _better,”_ She insists. “What was the point in leaving Mars and all of the bad that had happened there if I was just going to cause more _shit_ out here!”

Juno takes a step back. It’s not like her to lose composure, especially if she’s not arguing with him, but _fuck,_ she had _messed up._

“I’m an assistant director of Dark Matters,” Sasha says with a sigh. “The second highest position. And yet, if anything happened to me, I know with absolute certainty that they’d do nothing. That didn’t bother me until recently. I don’t know why it never did. After all, how can we claim to be helping the galaxy if we don’t even care about our own _coworkers?”_

“It’s okay, Sasha,” Juno says. “Forget those assholes. Hell, I bet you could make something at least twice as great as what Dark Matters has now!”

“That’s hardly likely,” Sasha tells him. “But… thank you. I’m sorry I’ve been so rude to you, Juno. I _do_ like you. And I want us to still be friends. But we have to deal with this mess before we can deal with _this_ mess.”

Sasha gestures to herself and Juno laughs.

“Hey,” he says. “That’s my joke!”

After a pause he adds, “I’m sorry too. I don’t know what it is about you that pisses me off, but it’s good to know the feeling’s mutual. We’re both kind of shitty at being friends.”

“I think that may be one of my problems, honestly,” Sasha says. “Every time you piss me off it always seems like it’s because you’re doing something I would do. Or the exact opposite.”

“Not to interrupt this very touching conversation,” Basil says. “But stun guns only last so long.”

“Right! Of course,” Sasha says. “We’ll need to make sure they haven’t called in for back-up, but even if they did there’s no cause to worry—I know for a fact there isn’t enough agents posted here for them to come very soon. The next thing we’re going to need to do is steal their ship.”

Juno and Basil look at each other for a second, then back to her.

“I think you’re going to need to run that by us one more time, Sash,” Juno says.

“We found out how to prevent all of the artifacts from being stolen,” Sasha explains. “It’s very simple. All it requires is _teamwork.”_

“Man, you must love that. So, what do we have to do?”

“There’s another cave one of us needs to go to,” Sasha tells them. “There’ll be a cave there with an equally powerful artifact that we need to use to interface with this one, but it’s too far for us to walk. Apparently, they’re all connected on some level. The hope was that while the Seginuans might use their weapons on _each other,_ they’d be able to work together to fight off invaders from other planets. I can go take the ship. I know what to do—and so does Rita, so she has to stay here. Ideally, either you or Basil will come with me and the other will stay and make sure nothing happens here.”

“I’ll go with you,” Juno says.

“Really?”

 “Yeah. We make a pretty good team when we’re not fighting. Besides, Baze here is really good at tying up our loose ends.” Juno nods towards the unconscious Dark Matters agents.

“That sounds like a fun talent to have,” Sasha says, as if she didn’t know over a hundred ways to tie a knot. “We should really be going now.”

Juno nods, then turns to give Basil a quick kiss.

“Alright,” he says. “Let’s go.”

 

Sasha and Mistah Steel go back through the wall to avoid the boobytraps out front. Rita turns on her comms to listen in to their conversation as Basil ties up the Dark Matters goonies with their own jackets—pretty impressive, if you ask her.

“I can’t believe we’re going to save the day with the power of _friendship_ ,” Mistah Steel says.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Sasha replies. “We’re saving the day thanks to a series of safety measures put in place hundreds of years ago that just so happen to be exactly what we need.”

“I mean, yeah, that too, but that’s kind of a mouthful.”

The two chat for a little, and Rita really enjoys the whole dynamic they got going on. Whenever Sasha sets up a joke, Mistah Steel follows through without missing a beat. Even if they do bicker a bit, she can hear the fondness for each other in their voices. It’s real sweet.

In fact, it was almost like talkin’ about their feelings had actually helped them become better friends or deal with their issues a little. Who would have guessed! (Rita, that’s who. She totally guessed that.)

“Do you think I could just shoot any Dark Matters agents who come through that door?” Basil asks suddenly. Rita turns, only slightly shocked. “There’s no problem with the ‘stun’ function of my gun, but that doesn’t mean I should have to waste my time switching settings on low lives like this.”

Rita considers this. Yeah, Mistah Steel would be real mad if he heard that Basil was out murdering people, but then again, they _were_ people who were plottin’ on destroying a whole entire planet just cause they didn’t want to bother with another trip to their gun store or something, so Rita wasn’t like, torn up about it or nothing.

“Mistah Steel can’t get angry if he don’t know there’s something to get angry about,” Rita tells Basil, who grins. “But maybe we start with bodily harm and work our way up, if it gets to that.”

“Wait—Rita,” Mistah Steel says. “Are you listening to us now?”

“Nooooo,” Rita replies, quickly muting her comms. She hears Mistah Steel grumble about it, but as far as he knows, she turned off her system, so he can’t go getting mad or nothing, and besides, Sasha’s saying something about the ship, so they’re probably about to get busy fighting off someone on monitor duty—which is probably _real boring_ , so they should be glad Mistah Steel and Sasha’s around to liven things up.

Rita hears a couple gunshots, and a noise of surprise from Mistah Steel.

“Man, this place is really understaffed,” he says. “Guess they don’t make hostile takeovers like they used to.”

“This wasn’t supposed to be a _hostile takeover,”_ Sasha replies, then sighs. “Sorry. I have no reason to be angry. I mean, it is more of planet-wide destruction than an usurpation of power but the fact is that Dark Matters is… horrible, I don’t need to excuse them. But this was them assuming no one on the planet would bother stopping them.”

“Well, that’s stupid.”

“They’ve been relatively stealthy, Juno. The people in the town Rita and I visited didn’t even know they were still here. They assumed that Dark Matters had left after their skirmishes with Izar had ended.”

“Shit. Did you tell them?”

“Of course not—there’s no need to worry the public about a mess we’re about to solve. No need to cause panic.”

“Right, of course. Hey, sorry about this, but we’re going to take your ship.”

“What? Who do you think you— _Agent Wire?_ Why—“

Another gun shot.

“Hope you know how to fly this thing, Sash,” Mista Steel says. Sasha scoffs.

“Of course I do.”

Rita hears the whirr of an engine, and the sound of running. She groans. The running was definitely not coming from her comms. Before she can say anything, Basil disappears. Rita groans louder. She _hates it_ when he does that. I mean, come on, give a girl a bit of warning, will ya?

Anyways, two Dark Agents folks come running down, and they stop when they see Rita, leaning against the cave wall like she doesn’t know she ain’t supposed to be there.

“How did you get in here?” one of them demands.

“Um….,” Rita says quietly, hoping to think of some kind of cool lie that’d make Basil proud. “The front door?”

The one who spoke reaches for his blaster, but his companion grabs his arm.

“She’s probably just from town,” she says. “There’s no need to waste a shot, especially…”

The agent trails off, and Rita does her best to look innocent, as if she don’t know exactly how that sentence was going to end. She sees Basil appear out of thin air, and before the agents know what’s what, he’s knocked them out cold.

“I hope they get a concussion,” Basil says idly, like he’s just talking about the weather or something.

“Rita?” Mistah Steel says. Rita unmutes her comms. “We just landed. Get ready.”

“Sure thing boss!” Rita chirps, making her way to the center of the chamber, where an indescribable metal lump hung in suspended animation above a small podium. Truth be told, it kinda reminds her of one of Basil’s doodles. Huh. Guess everyone’s an architect to someone.

Basil’s watching her as she fiddles around with the podium till a control panel pops out. She can hear fighting from her comms, and Sasha’s yelling something to Mistah Steel.

“Sorry you got such a boring job,” Rita tells Basil. “I bet you’d really like to be running with Mistah Steel, doing something cool.”

“I always want to be with Juno,” Basil says. _Awww._ “But I do enjoy your company, as well. How does this work anyways?”

“Well, it’s supposed to be real simple,” Rita explains. “Apparently, way back when there was a bunch o’ civil wars n’ stuff, they got it so each side memorized the right buttons to press, but only on their part, so nobody’d know how to lock everything down. But that was a real long time ago, so now they just teach the code for each in school. Turned it into a rhyme and everything.”

“History works in strange ways, it seems,” Basil says with a laugh. “Amazing how something guarded as such a secret can turn into something so well known that you’d be pressed to find a citizen who couldn’t activate these systems!”

“Those Dark Matters, I really don’t get them,” Rita agrees. “All they had to do was ask a school teacher, and they coulda unlocked the mysteries to this place in seconds!”

“I have a feeling Dark Matters doesn’t like playing nice with others,” Basil chuckles.

“Rita,” Sasha says breathlessly. “Rita, we’re here.”

“Alright!” Rita replies. Oh man. Now it was _her_ turn to do something. Don’t panic, Rita. “I-I’m ready!”

“On the count of three, we’ll enter in the code. Okay?”

“U-uh huh!”

“One. Two… Three!”

Rita presses the buttons nervously. They look old. Should they be this old? She _knows_ this is ancient technology and what have you, but some places _really_ need to _take care_ of their stuff. She wouldn’t let a cool place like this turn into a dusty cave if _she_ was in charge, oh no, she’d—

The panel makes a noise and slowly sinks to the ground. The only evidence it had every been there was a small glowing tile in the floor. Rita turns to Basil, unable to keep surprise from her face.

“It’s over,” she says.

“That it is,” Basil agrees.

“Well… That was pretty easy, huh!”

“I can guarantee you Juno won’t think the same. Do you want to meet them outside?”

“Yeah, okay,” Rita says. It still feels like Sasha got real worked up for nothing, but hey, she wasn’t the one dealing with the fact that some place she worked 30 years for was actually a horrible place that didn’t care about human life in the slightest. Things like that had a tendency to get a girl worried about, well, everything, so it’s not like she’s _surprised_ Sasha asked Mistah Steel to come along.

And sometimes it was just nice to have a friend with you, and that was all there was to it.

 

Mars seems so quiet compared to everything. Everywhere she had been Sasha had seen cities and people and they were all just as loud and brash as the people Sasha had met growing up in Oldtown.

But for some reason, Mars just seemed, well... not peaceful. But reassuring.

When Sasha had been recruited for Dark Matters, she had hoped to leave Mars behind and never look back. Instead, she had kept coming back in 15 year intervals.

And now, she was glad for it. Seeing Juno and Mick…

She didn’t care about Mars, but she cared about them.

“So, Sasha,” Juno asks with a yawn, not doubt feeling jet lagged. “What’re you going to do now?”

“First, I’m going to go see Mick,” Sasha says. “And then I’m going to quit my job.”

As if on command, her comm beeps. Sasha takes the call and almost sighs.

“Hello, Agent Lilith,” Sasha says.

“Agent Wire,” Agent Lilith greets, clearly annoyed. “Did you jeopardize our _entire operation_ based solely on personal feelings?”

“I suppose I did,” Sasha replies. “Good bye.”

“You do realize Dark Matters won’t stand for this. I don’t care how long you’ve been working for this company, Agent Wire, we will _not_ tolerate such subordination. You’re going to have a lot to answer for--”

Sasha turns off her comms with a satisfying _click._

“Well,” she says. “It appears I’m going to be wanted by Dark Matters for a bit.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” Basil reassures her. “I was too! And now look at me!”

Sasha does.

And then, for the first time in a long while, she laughs.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you've managed to read all that, congrats!! This was my first penumbra fic, and I hope the rest are of a better quality. I don't feel like this is my best work, but that's life. I'm still publishing it b/c this was like. 19 pages. I think i kind of went overboard because I wanted to do everything all at once and I think it shows.  
> Also, everyone is disabled because everyone i know is disabled and cool and life imitates art. Or was it the other way around? im very tired. also i geniunely believe juno steel has asthma. he's just very bad at it, like with many things  
> Feel free to come bother me on tumblr at ofdreamsanddoodles


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